Every time I ride the subway, I crack up. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind the commute that much. It's what comes over the intercom that makes me laugh, whenever I hear it:

"Ladies and Gentlemen... If you see a suspicious package on the platform or train, do not keep it to yourself. Tell a police officer or an MTA employee. Remain alert, and have a safe day."

Let's clarify a few things:

1. Webster's defines suspicious as "tending to arouse suspicion."

2. I define package as a "present".

3. If you were to find a nicely wrapped package on the subway, would you really want to give it away to a cop, or the token booth lady?

As the train approached Union Square Station, I looked over towards the handsome guy sitting next to me. In his lap, he held the current issue of Newsweek. Aroused, and suspicious, I read the headline. KING TUT'S DNA REVEALS A MORE MANLY PHARAOH. The article briefs a recent analysis published in The Journal of the American Medical Association, how DNA extracted from the bones of 11 royal mummies, including Tut's, has changed perceptions of genetics and also the artistic conventions during this period in time. Called the Armana art-style, it's unique for more realistic depictions of the figure which broke away from the strict formalism universal in Egyptian art. The boy king, who died at age 19 in about 1324 B.C., the 10th year of his reign, and others male royals from this period are seen in quite feminized representations, which led to speculation that the family tree was riddled with hormonal diseases like gynecomastia (excessive breast development in men). But Tut's CT scans show no signs of it. Perhaps this "feminization" of the male figure is another sort of stylistic convention?

And, well, another sentence really piqued my interest: "...the penis of Tutankhamen, which is no longer attached to the body, is well developed."